December 12, 2017

Along the Way

(Written by: Shelly Hester)

Since I was just a little girl, I have always thought about life and the meaning behind it all. In my naivety, I believed with age I would know, without doubt, why we are here. Some believe we are here by cosmic accident, I do not.

The difficulty some may have in imagining a higher being is the same difficulty I have imagining that there isn’t.

I still don’t know my purpose here and I may never know until I leave this world. Although, I have come to know some certainties in life.

I know that everything I have been through in my life was important. Whether it was good or bad, there was something I was meant to learn from that particular experience. I have made some mistakes in life, some small and some huge.

The part of me that wishes for perfection would take it back if it were possible. But the part of me that embraces life, accomplishments and mistakes together, would never allow it. I am who I am and I like that I am imperfect.

I would be pretty boring if I were perfect, we all would be! Plus, I believe some of the best parts of me have come to be because of the mistakes I have made and the lessons I have learned from them.

Furthermore, I believe everyone we encounter in our lives were sent our way for a specific reason. Even people we didn’t like on a personal level and people who’ve hurt us. I have become a forgiving person for that very reason. I have learned something from all of them. I may not care to be in their company anymore, but I do not hate anyone or begrudge anyone.

I am not perfect, nor are they. Maybe, just maybe, they learned something from me as well. Along with this, I believe timing is everything. Sometimes, the best people we’ve come to know are the ones who came along later.

If they had come along just one second too soon, the timing would have been off and we would miss out on an incredible experience. God knows us, inside and out. He knows when we are ready for the next phase and sets it into motion. Some people may refer to it as destiny or fate. Call it what you will, but it knows us all on a very personal level.

Yes, we have to make things happen in our lives too. We can’t just sit back and wait for good things to land in our laps. Though, we cannot make the most important things happen without some type of divine or cosmic intervention. Love is one of those things. The harder you try to find the perfect person for you, the further apart you will get from her/him.

It always happens when we least expect it to. Sometimes, it happens when we think it to be the least convenient time in our lives. But, if you don’t resist it or push it…..it just happens.

The most “inconvenient times”, sometimes, turns out to be the perfect time. I still don’t know all the answers to life and the reasons behind it. In fact, I don’t think I really want to know.

The moment you have all the answers, life will become boring and unbearable. The pain we have to endure is worth it. I have my moments when I would disagree with that statement and wonder how I could say such a thing.

I have had my fair share of pain in life, especially in the past couple of years. There are moments when I think I can bear it no longer and I wish I could develop amnesia…..just forget the events that caused the pain. But that would mean forgetting the people who were also a part of that event.

I never want to forget them. The people I need the most in this world, whether they live near or far, are right here. They are the balm that eases the wounds to my soul. I, like all human beings, can get so wrapped up in that pain that I forget to show my gratitude.

Sometimes I lash out at them when the pain is especially deep. The people that matter most in my life know me well enough to know that I would rather cut off my right arm than to inflict pain on them.

They are the people that overlook and forgive my shortcomings. I thank God every single day for them. They love me, flaws and all. They accept me for who I am, without judgement. In return, I do the same for them and give them my undying loyalty.

Omniscience is unattainable here. That is acceptable to me…for the most part. I will never stop wondering and questioning. It is a part of who I am and I like who I am.

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