December 2, 2020

Big Baby

[jessica]A few weeks ago a stranger pointed out what a “big boy” my 18-month old is. It is only about the thousandth time I have heard that!

All of my babies have been chubby around the year and a half mark, because they have all started walking a little later than normal so they really pack the pounds on until they become more active. What hit me for some reason this particular time the comment was made is that this stranger was doing exactly what I teach my kids not to do.

I mean would I allow my children to point at a large person and say, “wow that is a big woman or wow that guy is healthy?” Absolutely not!

I start teaching my children when they are very young that we do not point out different looking people. I teach them that we are all different sizes, we have different eyes, different hair, everyone smells different, people talk different, some people walk different, and some people can not walk at all….the list goes on and on but you get my point.

My children know that if they do have a question about something they see they can ask mommy anything but it needs to be in private! They know that we never point our finger, we never stare, and we certainly never call someone a hurtful name. So why is it that we as adults think it is okay to point out differences in children?

My daughter is 7 and she is very tall for her age and has very large feet and very red hair. You can imagine the comments she gets! Now I know that babies and young children think nothing of the comments that may be said, but it really got me thinking about all things I teach my children not to do and then I do them myself.

I know that I am guilty of pointing out a skinny baby or two! Haha! You never really know at what age children start to figure things out, and I certainly don’t want to point out an unflattering characteristic in a baby, only to have my child point out the same thing in an adult on a later date!

As a mom I have to be so careful about my actions every minute of every day. I tell my kids not to complain about things, but then only moments later I complain about something. I yell when I get angry, but then tell my kids that yelling is not an acceptable way to behave when they are mad.

I teach my children to be content with what they have, but then find myself dropping hints to my hubby all the time about things I’d love to have.

I want my children to use their manners, but then I demand the person closest to the wipes to hand me one when I realize the baby’s diaper was number 2 instead of number 1 without even a please or thank you…and so on and so on!

Of course some of this is just going to happen in life because there are differences between being the child and being the parent. But when it comes to the subject of judging others I think we have to be consistent from birth.

It is the most important thing to me that my children show respect to every person they come in contact with. And by respecting other people I think that means not judging any difference they may have from us.

Whether it may be a physical difference or a different opinion or belief from us it doesn’t matter. Parents are molding little adults each day and so sometimes we have to be ridiculously cautious even though it seems silly.

So maybe next time we see that “big baby” we could just point out his cute cheeks and leave it at that!


  1. patricia Bailey says

    Good article Jessica and so true.

  2. Brandy Head says

    Sooo true. Love this article.

  3. Roianne T Massa says

    I am so proud to be your mom Jessica! You continue to teach me things everyday! I do love your BIG babies but this last one is a bag of concrete to my back 🙂 I will try really hard to not ever say that again! 🙂

  4. Anna Kirkpatrick says

    Awww this is a great article, thanks for sharing 😀

  5. robert montgomery says

    Some people always look for ways to “DISS” others.That is a reflection of Thier faults.I wish I kept all the things I was told about being a REDHEADED FREAKLE-FACE SHORT kid with BUCK TEETH. I could probably star in a movie called MAD MAGAZINE!! red ps, Only OLD FOLKS know what Mad Magazine is!

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