July 16, 2019

BRAKING MUSE: Big parade planned as Heard County celebrates new state record holders

The fans pictured above will be honored with an upcoming community parade after establishing a new state record last week. Longtime middle school math teacher Mrs. Ginger Cornelius will be the Grand Marshall.

(Franklin, GA) — Heard County is planning to celebrate a special group of baseball fans with a parade and other festivities after the remarkable folks set an unusual Georgia state record as the largest group of fans ever ejected from a single sporting event.

The 47 fans were ejected from the game on April 11 near then end of a doubleheader in Lagrange as the Brave varsity baseball squad was doing battle with arch region rival Callaway.

What made the mass ejection by the field umpire so noteworthy was the fact that the vast majority of the fans had never been ejected from any event before in their entire lives.

The state record is even more remarkable when considering the fact that most of the fans were just sitting there quietly watching the game.

The docile crowd of ejectees included many pillars of the community young and old including Heard High’s 2018 Co-Valedictorian Kaylee Neighbors, Heard High’s 2019 Valedictorian and DAR Good Citizen Award winner Jordan Cornelius, 2018 Georgia Positive Athlete Regional Award Winner Courtney Baron, the coach of the 2019 HCMS Championship girl’s basketball team Shaqueri Talmadge, one of her best players Jasmine Owens, several local business owners, a church deacon, several elderly grandparents, a kindergartner, a popular Alabama health care professional and even a dog!

Fittingly, there was no protest from the fans as they all quietly filed out of the visitor stands without incident. One parent says there was a very good reason the fans did not want to protest too much.

“Unfortunately, we could not take a chance on going to jail since our official team bailbondswoman Angie was also among those ejected, ” said player parent Rhonda Raines.

Although the group has many worthy candidates, long-time and beloved middle school math teacher Mrs. Ginger Cornelius has been selected to serve as the Grand Marshall of the Parade that will wind through downtown Franklin sometime in the month of May.

Colleagues describe Mrs. Cornelius as one of the most kind and timid members of the community. Mrs. Cornelius had gone over 50 years without being thrown out of any event ever in her life.

Sources say Mrs. Cornelius was even once allowed to dine at the Cracker Barrel until 1:00 AM because she was just so nice and sweet that no member of the wait staff or management would ask her to leave at the normal closing time of 10:00 PM.

One Heard County fan not ejected from the game is unhappy about the parade and feels he was unjustly discriminated against.

“I had just gone to the bathroom at the time this all happened and when I came out all of the fans were just gone,” said Shane Wright in a statement this week. “Everybody that knows me at all knows I deserved more than anyone to be thrown out of that game. No offense to Mrs. Cornelius, but just ask anyone — I should be the Grand Marshall of this parade — this is so unfair. Mrs. Cornelius was just sitting there.”

Only one fan was willing to speak out about the reason as to why the ejections took place. “We got thrown out because the umpires sucked,” stated 5-year-old kindergarten student Becca McCullough.

Heard High School principal Brent Tisdale wasn’t at the game that night but says the school plans to pull out all the stops to celebrate the unbelievable accomplishment with plans already in place to sell t-shirts in honor of the new state record. It is also a possibility that commemorative rings will be purchased for the special group of dedicated fans.

“I mean you see coaches, players, and some of the rowdier fans kicked out of sporting events all of the time, but for honor students and deacons of churches to be thrown out  — that is just something too special to ignore,” stated Tisdale this week. “The state football championship was pretty cool no doubt — but this is truly something even more special that deserves to be recognized.”

 

DISCLAIMER: The MUSE BrAKe may include information from sources that may or may not be reliable and facts that don’t necessarily exist. All articles should be considered satirical and any and all quotes attributed to actual people complete and total nonsense. Pictures that represent actual people should be considered altered and not in any way real. The MUSE BrAKe does not reflect the views or opinions of The Heard Citizen, its staff, or its sponsors, and is intended for entertainment purposes only. 

Comments

  1. Dont sit near Ronnie McCullough, he’s probably been thrown out of more events than anyone in Georgia’s history !…..lol

  2. Martha Bennett says

    But Shane Wright should be included….js

  3. Betty Hughes says

    Way to go Heard County Braves supporters….I hope soon to be a Heard County citizen also!

  4. Well they call us “BRAVES NATION” for a reason. All you have to do is call the game the correct way!
    #BRAVESNATIONNUMBERONEFAN

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