December 1, 2020

Pastoral Nuggets: The Victim Card

Brother-Aaron-236x300There are some posters on the wall in the fellowship hall area of the Troup Baptist Association Missions and Ministry Center. (My office)

I assume they were placed there by Sherri Brown, who leads Circles of Troup, a poverty elimination program that meets there one night a week.

One poster is entitled: “The Totally Responsible Person.” It reads, “Everything that happens to me provides me with opportunities for learning and growth. I cannot blame anyone else for how I feel, what I do, or the attitude I choose.”

The other is entitled: “Victim Mentality.”  It reads, “If things are going wrong or badly, or not to my liking, then someone else is to blame. It is necessary to identify the persons, circumstances, or source of why things are not as I think they should be. Blame must be determined and accepted by the wrongdoer and things must be made right. I am justified in being emotionally upset.”

Using those two statements, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where society, the church, and many people we know lineup. It’s easy to play the victim card!

It is about 10:30 pm as I sit at my computer writing this column. I have just returned from an evangelism crusade where I heard the guest evangelist say, “I don’t believe in excuses.  Everybody has circumstances!” To which I say a hearty: Amen! Life happens to all of us.

It is not a question of if we are going to experience difficulties, setbacks, and even tragedies in life; we will!

The question is: How we will we handle them when they occur? Will we adopt the “Victim Mentality,” and blame somebody else for what we are experiencing and demand that they make things right, or will we adopt “The Totally Responsible Person Mentality” and realize we cannot blame anybody else for how we feel, what we do, or the attitude we take?

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

In my opinion, as Americans, and especially as Christian Americans, we have been silent for way to long regarding things that matter. One of those things is our acceptance of anybody and everybody playing the victim card.

In my opinion, in order for anybody to play the victim card they must first truly believe they are a victim. And once somebody believes they are a victim they develop victim mentality. (Stinking thinking!) And as long as they hold on to that victim mentality they will not walk in victory.

In America today we have made it more profitable to be the victim than the victor. We have made it more acceptable to whine than shine. Excuses abound.  But excuses are all they are! In Proverbs 23:7 my Bible teaches me, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he …” Remember “The Little Engine Who Could?”

If we can dream it, we can achieve it!  Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” And Romans 8:37 says, “… in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”

On many occasions one or more of my four children have come to me whining, crying, griping, or complaining about something they felt dreadfully unfair that had occurred in their life. I told them, “Nobody wants to hear that! Did I ever tell you that life was fair?

Hey! Bad things happen to good people. So, put your big boy or big girl britches on and suck it up and go. Life ain’t fair! But it will be exactly what you make it; nothing more or nothing less.” I refused to let them play the victim card.

It’s time we as Americans stop playing the victim card and suck it up and go!

Brother Aaron

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