November 25, 2020

The Princess and the 3 Peas: Judge Free Zone

[jessica]I am knocking on a very tricky door right now. The time is quickly approaching when I have to start teaching my beliefs to my children, the oldest two especially.

I am not talking about things that I have already been instructing them on as far as how they should behave, but the much more sensitive type topics.

The things that they will begin to have questions about and eventually wonder why mommy and daddy teach them that it is wrong, when other people don’t think it is.

My oldest 2 have already asked why they can’t say words like stupid, shut-up, “oh my God”, call someone a butt, etc… even though they hear other kids saying them.

They have even asked about a couple other words that I feel they heard way too soon thanks to the school bus! It was pretty easy to explain that those are hurtful words and that is why we don’t say them.

They have gone to church since birth and they understand that they are not only behaving to please me, but to also please God. I have explained to them that not everyone knows about God or the things he asks us to do, and that is why some kids don’t think it is bad to do things that they have learned are wrong.

What worries me is this next chapter when they start to see and hear about issues that are much more serious than name calling or lying.

Subjects like actual curse words and what they mean, questions about divorce, questions about homosexuality, do you have to be married to live together, what is murder, and Lord have mercy on me in five years when they begin to ask about sex and drugs!

My concern is not so much how to tell them what God says, I know what I have been taught and I feel strongly about my beliefs and am proud of them.

I feel grounded enough in my faith and I know that God will give me wisdom as to what words to use to explain to them why certain things are wrong.

What I am dreading is how to teach them that just because we believe certain things are wrong, it doesn’t mean we judge those doing said wrong things.

Will it be enough for me to say that we all make mistakes, and until we are perfect we should never judge anyone else?

Will they look at me like a crazy person when I quote Matthew 7, and tell them they “should take the plank out of their own eye before they remove the sawdust from their brother’s eye?”

I can hear myself saying: “Just because we think it is wrong, it doesn’t mean we are better than people that don’t think it is wrong, and it certainly doesn’t mean we don’t love them. We love the person; we just don’t love or agree with their behavior or choice. We still treat them with respect just like God asked us to. We know what God expects of us, but he can’t make our choices for us. He allows us to live our life and make decisions however we want, but we will have to take responsibility for our actions someday if we don’t live how God intended for us to.”

And how can I really even get them to grasp that concept when even if they don’t judge others beliefs, they will be judged for theirs!

I feel like I am constantly struggling to convince people that I am not judging them, I am standing up for what I believe in. Just because I say it is wrong, doesn’t mean I am saying I do everything right.

Romans 3:23 says “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” I believe God doesn’t weigh our sin. A sin is a sin, but with that being said I will call a sin a sin. For example, I believe homosexuality and abortion are wrong, but I also believe it is just as wrong for me to yell at my kids or gossip! I also do not consider any of the above mentioned things as being “unforgiveable”.

Bottom line is I will pass on my beliefs to my children in hopes that they will follow God’s laws as I do. I want them to love God with their whole heart, and have the strength to be proud of what they believe.

I will encourage them someday to learn about other religions, because I think it is important to respect anyone who is following their beliefs. I in no way feel that Christians are the only ones getting into Heaven!

I do not ever intend to judge or disrespect others just because they are doing something I think is wrong. I am so thankful it is not my job to judge, and I earnestly hope I am living my life pleasing to the one that will judge me someday.



  1. Faye Bright says

    I always enjoy your articles so much but this one is exceptional!! Your children are very fortunate to have you for a Mother. Thanks for your contribution!

  2. It’s nice to see that someone else struggles with this issue. I have told mine that “It’s just something we don’t do because of how we believe. We still love others, but we do not act that way”. Thanks for the article!

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