[jessica] Lately I have been in a very serious rut! A rut is defined as “a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.”
I am late all the time, unorganized, forgetful, moody, and yes unproductive to say the least. We had some sickness go through our house but other than that nothing really out of the ordinary.
What happened is a couple months ago I realized that my life is like a bunch of puzzle pieces from many different puzzles. I feel like I have been trying to make them fit together when clearly they are not going to. I mean obviously puzzle pieces only fit together with other pieces from the same puzzle.
What am I supposed to do? Have several different puzzles just lying around next to each other looking awkward? Then it hit me a few weeks ago. I know what I have to do with all those crazy, mismatched puzzle pieces.
I am feeling a little intimidated by this challenge I have given myself in dealing with these pieces, but at least I am determined to get out of this rut. What I’ve decided to do with my puzzle pieces it pretty simple. I am going to do whatever I want with them.
I am recognizing it is my puzzle and it only has to look good to me. I don’t know how my puzzle will connect, but I am kind of excited to start working on it.
My pieces look pretty amazing to me even scattered all over the floor in a very real mess! Here I’ve been feeling sorry for myself when actually I’m pretty blessed to have all these pieces. And seriously I can do whatever I want with my puzzle. That is the best part.
I don’t have to worry about every piece fitting together perfectly. I can put pieces next to each that compliment each other even if they don’t technically link together.
I can use staples and tape; I can stack pieces if I am feeling really crazy! Hey it’s my puzzle I can get a fancy piece of paper, glue a bunch of pieces on it, add some glitter and stickers and bedazzle that baby and make it my own!
Now I guarantee you most people are going to look at my puzzle pieces and judge the day away. They are going to wonder if that crazy mother of four from a broken family knows how ridiculous her puzzle looks.
They are going to wonder if I know I am missing pieces and if I know that I have pieces that are damaged. And the answer of course is YES. Dwelling on those missing and damaged pieces is the main reason for my rut. See I’ve been thinking that exposing my outrageous, shocking, and maybe even offensive puzzle is going to make me stronger.
It is going to provide me with friends that also have extreme puzzles that they too are passionate about. My puzzle is going to bring me closer to those family members that want to be a part of it.
I am honored and grateful for those people that want to be in my puzzle. I am so sad about the people that have chosen to remove their pieces from my puzzle, and even heart broken that many of those people are family.
It sounds like a cliché but it really is their loss! My puzzle is my life and my puzzle is real. You know some other words for real? Genuine, sincere, actual, authentic, existent, valid, and true…wow my puzzle is gonna be totally awesome!
There will be pieces added, some lost, some that will need repair, some that bring me joy and some that bring me tears. My puzzle will not be fastened together in the tradition way, but my pieces will stick together because they choose to and that makes the bond even stronger! Opening my eyes to the possibilities my puzzle has will help me see the beauty in how it connects!