October 30, 2020


[jessica]Questions Questions Questions???

Yes they are all mine, yes I know what causes them, yes they all have the same father, yes I am crazy, no none of them were an oops, and no I am not having anymore!

I guess just as irresistible as it is to touch a pregnant belly, it is just as impossible to not ask these questions to a mom with several kids. I know I am not the only mom to be asked these things.

I don’t know if people think they are funny or are sincerely concerned about my well being, but either way it still leads to a very awkward moment.

Especially since complete strangers ask me these questions. Actually I get asked at least 1 of these questions every time I go to the store with all 4 of my kids!

“Are they all yours?!?!”

I get this question all the time. My kids have pale skin and light hair like me so it’s not like it looks unbelievable or something. I guess it just seems a little more astonishing because mine are all 7 and under.

This is usually asked with much concern in their voice, and once I answer yes then I get the “you poor thing look”. Next it is followed by “and you get out by yourself with all of them”? Yep I do…this is not a figment of your imagination, I am here without back-up, Daddy is not around the corner in the electronics department…

I mean what am I supposed to say? Since I try to be a pleasant person I usually just say something funny like “yep brought the whole litter” or “yep can’t run out of diapers”!

“You know what causes them right?”

Ha ha ha very funny yes I know what causes them old man! Why do people, especially old men, think this is such a funny thing to ask? I mean come on you just basically referenced sex to a lady with 4 kids and I am not supposed to get embarrassed!

As a general rule I don’t even completely stop the cart when I am asked this question. I just give a courtesy laugh and keep on walking past old Mr. McCreepy!!!

“All with the same guy?”

Yes I have really been asked this! It is beyond me why anyone would think this is an appropriate question to ask. Why does it matter if they are or not anyway. This is particularly offensive to me because I am a sensitive person.

So I start to think is it so hard to believe the same guy would want to have lots of kids with me?! Thankfully I have not been asked this question much, because it is getting harder and harder to bite my tongue.

One of these times I am going to direct the person to filter aisle, because obviously they are missing the filter between their brain and mouth!

“Did you want to have 4?”

I take this question as the person trying to ask if any of them were an “oops”. None of mine were and frankly I don’t believe in “oops” babies.

Every baby is conceived for a reason and I believe God has a purpose for it. With that being said I do believe in unplanned pregnancies. It took me two and a half years to get pregnant for the first time, and I had to use medication to help me ovulate.

So when I got pregnant for the second time without any help or really planning it I was a little freaked. I knew I wanted more but my baby was only 8 months old, and I had not intended to have them that close in age. I really think people have as many kids as they want and then they stop.

I mean yes you get the occasional unplanned baby, but that kid usually grows up to be the favorite! J

“Are you done?”

Yes I am officially fixed and we will not be having any more. But what about the poor moms that get asked this and they are going to have more. I would totally adopt a couple more if the situation ever presented itself.

I notice I get this question when one or more of my kids are screaming and fighting! So what the person really wants to ask is “have you heard of birth control lady?”

All I can say to this is a kid knows when their parents want them to behave and so they do just the opposite. My kids always embarrass me when we go to the store, but as long as I have them buckled in the cart I just keep moving!

“You are one busy mom, I bet you sleep good at night, you have a lot of little helpers, I don’t know how you do it!”

These statements usually come at the end of my conversations with complete strangers.

I think they are trying to give me a compliment, but I want to state here and now it is okay to just go ahead and say this to me-“YOU ARE CRAZY!!!” Because I know I am crazy and I am okay with that. After all one person’s crazy is another’s complete happiness!

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