November 29, 2020

The Princess and the 3 Peas: Let Boys be Boys

[jessica]It seems like we live in a time where chivalry is dying. It’s as if “ladies first” is offensive now instead of being polite.

We have become so politically correct that we are actually denying men the chance to be “the man” they were created to be. I am determined to raise my 3 boys to be gentlemen, while at the same time allowing them to exercise their God-given right to be boys!

It’s not a news flash that men and women are different. Scientifically it is quite interesting to study how a baby boy and a baby girl develop differently before they are even born.

While that precious baby boy is still forming inside his momma, he is already being wired to chase after girls with a frog, leave the toilet seat up, not want to stop and ask for directions, have a protective instinct regarding those he loves, and so many other wonderful qualities that God intended for men to have.

So let me start with a few things I have found so far that boys just instinctively do, and then follow that up with what I believe they must not only be taught but also allowed to do.

I have never allowed toy guns in my house (yes this is true even though I am a Republican) and I do not allow my kids to watch violent shows, because I hate the whole “Bang you’re dead” or “I just killed you” play thing boys do!

What I didn’t realize is that a boy will pretend and turn anything and everything into a gun and shoot you anyway! My 21 month old has only a 10 or so word vocabulary but he shot me with his sippy cup already, sound effects and all!

So I have given in to light sabers, swords, and rifles, but they can’t say kill, dead, or aim at the head!

I also discovered that from the moment boys realize they have a hand, they are going to need to reach down and touch the family jewels every chance they get. I mean between my 3 boys and my husband this house is constantly “rearranging” and I am not talking about the furniture!

Boys will also need to jump into that lone puddle, throw a rock at the dog, climb too far up the tree, and insist they already washed their dirt-covered hands!

Not to mention I have found with my oldest boy that he will literally explode if he can’t say poop about every 30 minutes. Just out of the blue I am doing whatever I am doing and I will randomly hear Wyatt say “POOP”!

I have tried to talk to him about this and he says he doesn’t know why he says it…and you know what? I believe him! That’s just my point about boys. They don’t have a reason for everything they do; they are just led to do it from parts inside of them that as a woman I will never understand!

All of these things I can handle along with the fact that they are loud and stinky! I want them to be able to be boys, but I also want them to grow up to be wonderful men. I will not accept anything less than complete politeness when it comes to how they treat ladies.

Yes that means I allow them to interact a little different with dad, brother, and grandpa, than I do with sister, grandma, or me. I am not talking about respect, which they should show to everyone, but instead just the way they behave and the words they use in front of girls.

Now my boys are still young, but I have already started asking my 6-year-old and almost 4-year-old “would a gentlemen do that?”

We let girls go first, we open doors for girls, we let our sister have the last piece of dessert, we use our most polite language in front of girls, we offer to help carry things for girls, and we certainly excuse ourselves from the room if we must exercise bodily functions!

There are people that would say I am forcing my boys into gender specific roles. So??? Come talk to me when you find that 5 feet 4 inch 130 pound female firefighter who is ready to carry my unconscious 200 plus pound “dead weight” husband out of our burning home! And that’s all I am gonna say about that!

Would it be so wrong if someday one of my boys threw down their coat for a lady so she didn’t have to walk through a puddle? I mean they used to do it and I believe if you think about it times were much simpler back then.

A man can be the head of a household and make the final decision, and still show his boys he respects and loves their mom above anyone else. I think nothing crushes a man’s heart more than when you question their ability to lead, especially when it comes to their family.

I want my boys to be “real men”. I want them to be able to live the way that feels natural to them. Whether it is a childish boy behavior, or later in life a need to be chivalrous. A real man raised me and I am married to a real man.

They did not let society stop them from becoming the gentlemen they were created to be. So with their help, and with much prayer, I will raise my 3 boys to be 3 modern-day knights!!!




  1. heardcountyidiot says

    I could not have worded any of this better myself!!!! I wish they would put this op-ed on the front of every news paper everywhere! And none better than the Huffington Post! I watched a John Wayne movie sunday I think “The Shootist” which is one of my all time favs! He told Opie why he killed so many men when he was asked. John Wayne said something to the effect of “I wont be made light of, I wont be lied to, and I wont be laid a hand on! I dont do these things to other people and I wont have them done to me!!!” I thought to myself thats how we should all live and get along. Folks need to show some respect and if they dont give it they should be dealt with properly. Wont take them long to start showing people a little respect!

  2. Robyn Lawrence says

    Jessica, this is so cute, and so true! And, can’t believe I had to go all the way to Georgia to find you 🙂 but I’m glad I did!

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